It’s always tough to say goodbye to someone you love, but even harder when you have to make that decision yourself. When I was growing up, all the pets in our home were family pets. There were several that I was responsible for dragging home, but all in all, they were cared for by my parents. I wasn’t their decision-maker, I was just the annoying two-legged small human being that followed them around with my pretend veterinary bag, or dress-up clothes. As we said goodbye to several of these family members during my younger years, I wasn’t fully aware of the decisions that went into letting them go.
It’s amazing how much things changed once I was on my own and I was the primary caretaker for my now furkids. I think my role morphed into a parent role, rather than the annoying person just chasing them around the house trying to dress them up (although I still do that from time to time). I’ve scraped the bottom of my bank account buying my dogs the best food possibly, racing them to vet if there’s anything out of the ordinary and even taking them to physical therapy and acupuncture appointments. Heck, my dog’s ever have their own health insurance! Losing them is one thing, but having to actually make that decision to let them go is something that never gets easier. Piper and Sophie left us on their own. I didn’t have to make that call, although I did have a vet on the way to the house for Sophie when she passed in my arms. I feel fortunate that the timing of their passing was all a part of God’s plan.
Fast forward a few years and I’ve added a decision-maker to the pack. Charles and I are “parents” to all of our furry and feathered babies, so it isn’t just a decision I have to make myself. When we decided it was time to say goodbye to our old man Bogey, we made that decision together.
Although we have only had Bogey a short few years, he played quite a big role in our family. He was our family “yard dog.” For those of you who knew him, you know what I’m talking about! I have never met a dog that hated being indoors more than Bogey. The only way to make him happy was to walk him out and plop him down in the warm sunshine. But even without sunshine, he would make do (rain, snow, sleet…). He protested every minute of being inside but being the over-protective Mom I am, I made him at least come in to sleep every night and when the weather was rough.
Bogey had a condition called degenerative myelopathy (DM) which caused a slow paralysis of his back legs. When he first joined our family, we was still fairly mobile but his condition slowly deteriorated. Bogey wore a diaper from the get go as his condition caused him to loose control of his bladder/bowels. For the past few years, he had not been able to use his back legs any more and either a) dragged himself where ever he damn well felt like it in the yard, b) waited for one of us to come and move him into a better spot, or c) used his wheelchair (which he also hated). He was also was known to “make a run for it” which occurred anytime we left the driveway gate open. He would pull himself (at a fairly quick pace) all the way down to the fenceline of the barn area. These little quirks that often times left me a bit perturbed (getting him back up to the house was an ordeal in itself) but I can look back at and laugh now. He had such a big personality.
The DM began leading to more and more health problems and Charles and I really had to sit back and evaluate his quality of life. Bogey was always a happy dog, but he just had a tired look in his eyes. It was a look that I knew all too well and he had lost his zest. On Saturday January 12th, the vet drove to our home. It was time to say goodbye. It had rained for several days before but this particular day, it was cloudy with the sun peeking out from time to time. Bogey spent the day surrounded by all of us, enjoying ham, cheeseburgers, chicken nuggets and an overload of TLC. He rode in the trailer hooked to the back of our mower down to the barn, and wanted nothing more than to chase the cats, chickens and alpacas. We spread out blankets around him and sat outside with him for hours.
He had seven people surrounding him and loving on him as they gave him the injection. As hard as it was to say goodbye, I knew Bogey was was free from the challenges of his body. As he drifted away from us, the sun burst through the clouds welcoming him to the gates of Heaven. It was at that point I realized how much of my heart he took with him, even having him the short time we did.
